Isn't it ironic, dont ya think?, That a post  over at 43 folders purportedly about avoiding conflict is about to generate some. I'm attacking the ideas , not the person. 

More magical, ne secret, "thinking" justifying  the reader's  position  that the other person  has the desire to be angry,  unsuccessful or whatever you need them to be for you to feel good  and move on.

I've seen these four agreements mangled to justify  all manner of poor behavior with the same narcissistic reasoning of  a criminal mind. i.e.  people  only let you take advantage of them because they want you to. ( there maybe a lot of truth in that but it's usually a technique one should keep to themselves, or at least in the sales sections of the bookstore)   Their anger at your trickery, misrepresentation it's not your fault they really must have needed to learn that lesson and hey who better to teach them?

1. Be impeccable with your word. Words have immeasurable power, so use them with care. Say only what you mean, and remember your opinion isn’t fact. Silence is better than saying something you’ll regret.

It's hard to see how Agreement one can be deleterious taken at face value  but it's all in the interpretation,Besides there's four of them  anyway.   E.g there's no need to be "impeccable" to anyone other than yourself, to thine own self be true, do what thou wilt( shall be the whole of the law)etc  This may seem like an extreme reading until you take in Agreement two

2.  “Nothing other people do is because of you. It is because of themselves.” That guy honking at you just spilled scalding coffee all over his lap, the boss screaming at you is going through a divorce. Their stuff has nothing to do with your stuff, and assuming you’re the root cause of someone’s behavior is not only self-centered, it’s also a big waste of energy.

Can you see were it starts to fall apart?  It's not me,it's you.You're only angry at me because -you- have the problem and  that being the case why change.  In other words,  "what the bleep" 

Removing the possibility that there's even a conflict doesn't seem like resolution. More like avoidance. Maybe reality is what you can get away with?



Resolve Conflict Quickly with The Four Agreements | 43 Folders